We All Have Something To Think About

Life is a daily struggle. Whether you are gay or straight, black or white, rich or poor, fat or skinny, perfectly normal or incredibly strange. We all have things that we wish we could change. Things that we want or need and can't have. We all have "Those Days" and nothing ever goes how we plan.

Take the one person in the world that you think is perfect. The person you think has the perfect life, the perfect job and the perfect wife. And their life is probably more fucked up then yours.

What's my point? We are all books with blank covers, and you never know what a book is about until you read it.

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This blog is a story of my life. I am going to be more honest here then i am to myself. I am going to share things that i wish i could take back, and i'm sure i'm going to regret a thing or two. But to truly accept yourself you must first face yourself. And that's what i am going to do here. I plan to face my deepest fears, face my biggest regrets, expose my darkest secrets, and accept my worst vulnerabilities.

I am not seeking Tumblr fame, I am not seeking friends. I am not seeking popularity and i could care less if you like me or hate me. I was hating me long before it was cool. This blog is for me and my personal search for self acceptance. You can send me hate mail after hate mail after hate mail and I will be fine with it.

And Remember the best thing in the world is being able to love the person you see in the mirror.

Life

So once again life has hit me in the face like a 240 ton freight train. We all live in this world where we are worried about the frivolous things, we stress over things that really don’t matter and at the same time we ignore the things that are really important to us. Why? 

Because human beings are destined to have priority issues. But that’s just a mute an obvious point. 

I have spent my entire life worried about one thing or another. Whether it be finding love, worried that i’m going to spend an eternity roasting in hell, that i would die alone, worry after worry after worry. Well i’m done worrying, I’m done living my life in the shadow of the people who look down on me or don’t believe in me.

This is MY life and i am going to live it to the best of my ability. There are so many things i want to do but when you build a wall of “bullshit” it’s hard to break through that while and accomplish the things you wanna do. 

I’ve been writing since i was able to, and being a writer has always been my dream but i have never REALLY put any effort into to making that dream come true. I’m going to chnge that. I’m going to finish all the books and stories and songs and all this that i have yet to finish. If i don’t get published, fine. If i make it big then awesome. I have no one to please but myself. 

My photography, as slowly as it may be progressing,  is still a passion that keeps burning at me. I’m going to start being more active on my deviantart account. I keep putting these things i love behind these other stupid “priorities” that i think i have when in reality it’s nothing but video games and youtube. 

I am a chronic procrastinator. I never finish anything. I never follow through with any idea or plan or map or whatever you may call it. But not anymore. I’m done being a lazy no life piece of shit and one day, I will be able to look at myself in the mirror without wanting to crawl six feet under. 

ramirezdahmerbundy: On June 11th 1963, Thích Quảng Đức, a Vietnamese Buddhist monk, sat down in the middle of a busy intersection in Saigon, covered himself in gasoline and He then ignited a match, and set himself on fire. Đức burned to death in a matter of minutes, and he was immortalized in a famous photograph taken by a reporter who was in Vietnam in order to photograph the war. All those who saw this spectacle were taken by the fact that Duc did not make a sound while burning to death. Đức was protesting President Ngô Đình Diệm’s administration for oppressing the Buddhist religion.

ramirezdahmerbundy:

On June 11th 1963, Thích Quảng Đức, a Vietnamese Buddhist monk, sat down in the middle of a busy intersection in Saigon, covered himself in gasoline and He then ignited a match, and set himself on fire. Đức burned to death in a matter of minutes, and he was immortalized in a famous photograph taken by a reporter who was in Vietnam in order to photograph the war. All those who saw this spectacle were taken by the fact that Duc did not make a sound while burning to death. Đức was protesting President Ngô Đình Diệm’s administration for oppressing the Buddhist religion.

(via j4messeekings)

Been A While

so it’s been a while since I’ve had anything to write about. Some may look at that as a good thing, some may view it as bad. I view it as indifferent. I’ve not had anything in particular to get me down but I’ve also not had anything to bring me up either. I’ve just been floating by. No point, No effort, no goals. 

What’s It About

So this one is a bit overdue but i just couldn’t bring myself to get on this thing and write something :P 

A few days ago Three friends and i were hanging out as usual just having a good time like we always do. But for some reason it was different. I don’t know why. Maybe just because i was thinking about things at the time. But we went to the park and walked around till it got dark. Had some amazing hot dogs and milkshakes ;) and then before we left two of them rolled down a hill a few times XD 

But see, this is what life should be about, getting rid of all these things that get us down because we have all these people that we care about. And just because we are 20+ years old doesn’t mean we can’t let go and roll down a hill every now and then. We get sucked into this media hungry world and let other people run our lives for us, we let them get us down, let them dictate what is “weird” or “not normal” I say screw peoples opinions and live life like today may be your last day. I know people say that all the time but seriously. Tomorrow you could get hit by a car or or get some kind of disease and then you’ll be on your death bed thinking of the day before when you spent the entire day upset over something someone said to you. 

College? Growing Up? Yea not looking forward to it.

Well tomorrow i finally start college. Granted it’s only a small college near my house and i won’t be living away from home but still. This is where i start my life. In high-school i never did a thing. I hated it and after the 7th grade i never made anything higher than a D in any class (including PE) Hell if you got graded during lunch i’d probably have failed that too. But This… This is going to start effecting the rest of my life. In high-school i fucked around but that’s just high-school. It really hasn’t had any effect on my life. But college is scaring the shit outta me. And i’m nowhere away from home. 

It’s getting to the point in my life where i have to grow up. My life up until this point has consisted of video games and trying my hardest to find a boyfriend… yea it’s sad but that’s about it. But now I guess it’s time to stop being a kid and start accepting my responsibilities and quit pushing them off on everyone else.